It’s difficult lately to let my mind just rest and take in absolutely nothing. I sit and read and then I think about writing and lately writing is what I’ve been looking forward to. I feel like I’m having a conversation with someone and honestly that simple task of just talking is such an overload for me in real life. I woke up today with the same stuffiness in my mind and honestly at this point I don’t know if it’s lack of sleep or just the same symptoms I have been having.
It’s difficult to pretend that I’m okay and it’s difficult to bring myself to just go out to work, to go to school, to go to that new gym I have been wanting to join. I heard a podcast once by Christa Black and she talked about how her husband would always say he was accident prone and that ended up happening. He would constantly get hurt and he tried actually stopping all the labels and he stopped saying he was accident prone and slowly it went away. I want that so badly.
The feeling in my mind like no other has made it’s home
It slowly overindulges and just reaches in and brews a cup of coffee
stop. that’s mine. you don’t like your coffee with almond milk
I sit still and yell out loud, in my mind, try the other one, the soy silk
I want what’s mine back.
Give me back my life. Give me back my happiness. Give me my hope.
I tie what brings me joy on a loose thin little yellow rope
Praying that it holds.
I pray you bring me through. I pray you hold my hand and guide me
bring me through the wilderness and deliver me heal me ever so slowly
But ever so quickly
because I need you now