I was unsure about how I felt about everything going on right now. I was in this stage where I felt extremely zen about everything and life was just moving along in a beautiful cadence. My mind was clear and I didn’t have the horrible headaches or migraines.
Honestly when this all started I went through this phase with lots of nausea and vomiting as well as headaches. This was when it hit me… I guess this was affecting me more than I knew.
As I sit here reflecting I realize that I worry on a different level because I take on the challenge of worrying for as many people as I possibly can (not intentionally of course). Also for those reading this in the future, I am referring to the Corona Virus or COVID-19. It’s (from what we knew at this time) an extremely contagious pulmonary virus that we do not yet have a vaccine or cure for.
Here’s where my worry starts: I worry about every older person I see an old man working at a grocery store clearly flinching as people walk by him in the aisles. I see a female security guard scared to sit or even ask to go on their lunch. I see an old couple with masks and gloves and hand sanitizer key chains coming in to get their phone fixed in case they need to call someone. I see my grandparents getting older and not fully understanding why they can’t do what they used to, why they have to stay trapped in, and why every trip to get Dialysis is one that could harm in a way I cannot even fathom or put into words. I hear the many stories of people losing their jobs and not being able to provide and not knowing when the will eat again. I feel for the people who are victims of domestic and sexual abuse. I even worry of my husband not being careful enough although I remind him at every second to wash his hands. I worry to bring it home with me from work or grocery shopping to the point where my hands are cracking. I worry because I cannot bear to think of my loved ones or anyone struggling through this virus. And this right here, is why I get sick to my stomach.
I must add that through all this God has been faithful. God has provided for me through the generosity of the company I work for. God has provided James the ability to work. God has allowed me to heal. God has kept us healthy.
Now that I realize what’s going on how can I control it? Well I’m already doing it at this exact moment. Writing. I don’t know what it is but I guess typing and getting it out just does it for me. I sometimes don’t even go back ad re-read the stuff I post. I just let it be and hope it helps someone cope somehow.
So subtle advice, do what you love. Do what makes the pressure come off you chest. Cry as you type, cry as you paint, cry as you dance, cry as you eat. Crying is healthy. Just once you cry it out remember it’s done. Basic rule of thumb: If you’ve already cried about it this month then don’t keep going back to something you’ve already shut a door on.
Through this time remember to be forgiving. Remember to be kind. Remember to love.
Be kind to Others
Be Kind to Yourself